Though I have personally experienced how incredibly kind and helpful people can be, I'm still often struck by the lack of empathy shown in everyday life.  Take today.

We had done our weekly shopping and were in line to pay at the supermarket.  Then we noticed that there was a hold-up.  THEN we noticed that there was a hold-up at most of the tills around us.  Turns out their debit/credit card payment system was down.  We witnessed the manager realizing this as he went around to the various cashiers.  Finally, he started telling the cashiers and customers that everyone would have to pay cash for the time being.  Personally, while this was vaguely annoying and inconvenient, I wasn't too upset and Kate just popped out to the ATM outside to get some money.  However, the woman in front of us responded to the manager with a very rude sounding, "You're joking!".  Lots of people looked pretty irritated.

Yes, it wasn't the best situation, but it wasn't the fault of the staff and the fact is, computer systems go down sometimes.  It doesn't help to be rude to the people who are doing their best to keep things operating.

It just goes in with the many people who push on at the bus I sometimes catch in Heston, the many people who drop litter about because they can't walk ten feet to a bin, the customers who take it as a personal insult if someone can't immediately provide exactly what they want.  I saw a guy who got really quite angry about not being able to access a service at the post office I was in.  He had read on the internet that he could, but it turned out that the online information was incorrect.  I understood his annoyance and his desire to highlight the issue, but when the guy at the desk offered him a complaint form and address, he said, "Okay, I'll do your job for you."  This was a glitch made by whoever does the NATIONAL website, not this one guy at the desk in a tiny local post office.  He calmly pointed this out, but the guy was convinced that he had been utterly cheated by the service of this particular person. I wanted to tell him to chill out, but that probably wouldn't have helped.

So, yeah.  I wish people could realize that if we all were a bit more mindful of what other people are going through, had some perspective about things going wrong and some more empathy with the world in general, life would probably be a lot more pleasant. 

Saying all this, I'm sure I'm guilty of overreacting at a few points in my life. All I can say is that I'm sorry to those people I've been short with and that I'm trying to be better.

Well, as of Wednesday, the house is on the market.  So...

Kate has a job - check
House done and on the market - check
Kathryn has a job - not yet

I'm really starting to stress about this.  We now pretty much NEED to be moving house early to mid-October and I still have no new job.  Thankfully I am still employed at my old job and can keep going with that for the next six weeks, but after that things get a little uncertain.

The job market, as everyone knows, is crap.  I can't remember the number of applications I've sent out (15+ at least) and I've had two interviews, one of which got me a job that paid too little for me to accept.

I've resorted to applying for TA and LSA jobs in order to get something, but I was really hoping to avoid becoming a support staff member in another school.

The good news is that the house had two viewings the day after it was listed, so we've clearly done something right.  It looks like a show home since about half our possessions are in storage.  I'm particularly pleased that the real estate agent used the words "oasis" and "luxury" within our house description.  Heh.

We viewed a couple houses yesterday.  One that we discarded after walking in the front door to the overwhelming smell of damp.  Another that's a big project, but a possibility.  It's quite large, with a completely overgrown, but, as they say in house ads, "generous" back garden.  The master bedroom is triple aspect, which is lovely.  I can see it becoming a wonderful house.  Not so keen on the neighborhood, but there are allotments across the road and a huge greenbelt with a stream and trails below the house.  Could be very good.

My whole being is just desperate for it to be October and for us to be moved and employed.  I write all this with the full awareness that we are incredibly lucky to have jobs at all, the option to move to/buy a new house and that life is actually pretty good.  I'm still stressed.

On a side note, I have an idea for a blog/podcast.  I'm thinking of getting an interesting antique/retro object (something small and inexpensive) once a month, then doing a four week program on it.  Week 1 would be a portrait/still life of it.  Week 2 would be a history.  Week 3 would be an art piece inspired by it.  Week 4 would be a story or poem inspired by it.  Does this sound interesting to anyone?  Would people be inclined to follow something of that sort?  Or is it a terrible idea?  Working title: Object of My Expression.

Anyway, I should try to do an application or two before Kate gets home.

Our garden is deliciously beautiful.  It's amazing to think that a little over two years ago it was scrubby lawn.  Now we are overflowing with flowers, green foliage, young vegetable plants and sweet wild strawberries (the only food ready to eat).  Soon, I hope, we'll be enjoying the MANY vegetables and fruits we've planted:

broad beans
french beans
violet beans
peas
beetroot leaves
purple sprouting broccoli
broccoli
potatoes
onions
garlic
corn
squash
courgettes/zucchini
black current
gooseberries
raspberries
cucumbers
carrots
tomatoes

This doesn't count the lettuce, chillies, peppers and pickling cucumbers that we have growing inside.

I keep thinking, "wow, if we're here late enough in the year, we will have massive amounts of fresh food".  That's the trick though: if we'll be here late enough.  Some plants have been housed in pots for easy moving, but some (corn! cucumbers!) have to go in the ground for lack of pots.  I'm particularly worried about moving before the corn is ready as that's generally an autumn crop and ours are quite teensy yet (about 6" at most).

If you weren't aware, we're looking to move to Bristol in the next few months (alas, Canada must be put off for a bit).  The house, hopefully, will be on the market at the end of this month.  We're both excited, scared, impatient and stress-ridden as we scramble to get the house ready and find jobs.  I'm afraid I haven't been as helpful with the house as I should be.  It's so much more pleasant to go out and work in the garden (or read a book...).

Oh, I've just read a fascinating book called "Gardens in the Dunes" by Leslie Marmon Silko.  It seems very apt as central themes include the growth of food, the discovery of new plants, the saving of seeds and self sustainability.  It takes place sometime in the late 19th or early 20th century and ranges from Arizona territory to the US East Coast to Europe, with flashbacks to South America.  The main character is a fantastically assured Native American girl from the Sand Lizard tribe (which I believe is a fictional tribe based on desert-dwelling groups).  However, there is a wider cast and multiple stories to follow, though not too many that you lose the thread of the story.  Would certainly recommend this one.  My only criticism is that the end is a little too neatly tied up.

Anyway, I'll try to be good and post some garden pictures sometime soon for anyone who might be interested.  Not sure anyone is, but I like showing off our growing things. ( :

Right, I should go varnish some paint before Kate gets home.

Thank you to aminorjourney, loopback0 and yueni for the reminders about taking care of myself. Of course, you're all right on that. I've been home all week and have spent almost all the time lying on the couch. It's annoying, because I feel not too horrible if I'm lying down or sitting quietly, but as soon as I try to get up and do anything movement related, I start to feel icky and bone-tired again.

Anyway, I'm waiting for that feeling to go away before I go back and I'm *trying* not to feel guilty about it. ( :

The last day and a half have been a loop of "should I be at work?", "no, I feel crap", "other people go to work when they're a little ill", I'm not that bad", "should I be at work", and so on.

I feel I'm somewhat justified in that I spent the weekend mildly ill (though not resting as I should have). Now I'm still waiting for the cough, headache, general body tiredness/sensitivity/slight ache to subside. It goes up and down, so I keep coming back to wondering if I just should have downed some cold meds and gone. But I work with kids (don't want 'em sick too) and if I don't rest, I know it'll just drag out longer. See: loop.

Kate asked me yesterday whether I was sure I wasn't Catholic since I seem to have such a huge supply of guilt. It's a fair question, but no, I'm not Catholic.

I might try to use some of today to work on some Christmas presents. We'll see if my head feels better after lunch.

Clearly I need a Stupid Fund for those moments where my common sense abandons me.

I was going to meet someone tonight and left the house with the conviction that the key was in my pocket. Once the door had closed and our slam locked had engaged, I found that I was sorely mistaken. Now, had this happened on any other day, it would have been annoying, but fine, as I could have driven to Kate's work and gotten her key. Problem was, Kate left her key today for a guest.

As it was, my neighbors were lovely about letting me use their phone to call a locksmith and the person I had planned to meet. They even let me sit in their living room with a cup of tea while I waited for the locksmith. I've got nice neighbors.

So, yeah, good-bye £75 that I couldn't afford to lose on stupidity.

We have this thing called the Zone at the school where I work. It's reward play-time for kids who have made good choices. I supervise it for a half-hour per day.

Today I had a group of 10 year old girls in the Zone. Two settled to coloring and playing Who's Who. One discovered that among the many toys in the Zone are some bits of dress-up clothes and a bear puppet. She began to play out a show with the bear, telling jokes and commenting on them. She then donned a hula skirt before adding a police vest and roping her friend into pretending to be a bank robber so she could arrest her.

This should be a normal day in the Zone and on the playground. The sad thing is, it's not. It's a rarity and a joy to witness. I work among around 450 children and I rarely hear the words, "Let's pretend that...". I rarely see kids being dragons or superheros or pirates. Maybe they're just doing it when I'm not around, but from my experience of creative club the other day* and from the lack of this sort of play in the Zone, I think it's just not happening.

I think it's a tragedy. The child in the Zone even said that she was embarrassing herself in front of her friends (though she didn't seem particularly bothered about it). I said that there was nothing wrong with playing and that as late as 12 years old I had imagined myself on a pirate ship (never mind all the pretending I did as a teen in drama).

How do we fix this? Does it need to be fixed? I think it does, but I place enormous value in using your imagination.

There's an experimental program in the U.S. called Tools of the Mind and I'm intrigued by what they do there and how it relates to self-management and creativity. Something to keep exploring.



* We were making up a story and the children had to come up with some problems that the characters could run into before reaching their goal. They came up with 1. everyone getting locked in their house, 2. a wall with a key hanging out of reach, and 3. another wall that became covered in diamonds once I suggested that it might be special in some way. No monsters (though there were monster scratches on the second wall), no magic, no volcanoes, no pits of snakes. Nope. A locked door, a wall and another wall. I should note that despite my internal disappointment, I praised them for their ideas and was enthusiastic about helping the children incorporate them into the story.

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions:
Copy this. Put an 'x' next to those you have read (watching a movie version doesn't count!) Tag other book nerds.



( List )

I'm going to break my LJ silence for a very self-centered reason: my new haircut.

I spent 8 years from when I was 14 to when I was 22 with short hair.  Then in 2006, I grew it out.  This summer, I couldn't stand the fuss and bother anymore, so today I got it cut and highlighted.
( Before and after pics behind the cut. )

I'm now off work for awhile, so I will try to post a real update soon. ( :

Yay!  Carol Ann Duffy is the new poet laureate and the first woman to hold the post in England.  How awesome is that?  She's an amazing poet, an active artist and gay to boot.

Here's an example of her work for anyone who has never heard of her:


Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy